If you’re pregnant or gearing up for life with a newborn, chances are you’ve heard about birth doulas, postpartum doulas, and night nurses and may be wondering which one to hire (if any!). I tried all three and want to walk you through what each role really does, what I used (and didn’t use), and why the night nurse ended up being my ultimate lifesaver. (Concierge Newborn Agency we used)
What Each Role Does (and what they can’t do)
Birth doula
A birth doula supports you during pregnancy and labor. She teaches coping techniques, comfort measures (massage, positions, breathing), gives encouragement, helps with hospital prep, and acts as your advocate during delivery. If you plan on a vaginal birth, a doula can be a huge emotional and physical support.
Postpartum doula (daytime doula)
Once baby is home, a postpartum doula helps with those early days. She might:
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Help you rest
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Teach newborn care (feeding, diapering, swaddling)
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Do light house tasks
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Prep simple meals
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Offer emotional support as you adjust
She’s kind of like a guiding hand while you’re settling in.
Night nurse
This is the role that changed everything for me. A night nurse works overnight, caring for baby, feeding (especially if baby takes formula or pumped milk), doing baby laundry, washing bottles or pump parts, sometimes monitoring baby’s sleep. Essentially, she gives you the gift of uninterrupted rest.
My Experience: Why the Night Nurse Won
Here’s the honest truth from my own journey:
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I had a scheduled C-section, so many of the birth doula’s tools (labor positions, comfort techniques) were less relevant than I expected. She still supported me emotionally and helped with hospital prep, but I didn’t end up using all of her expertise.
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For the postpartum doula (daytime), we started with her help. But because my husband was working from home and could step in during the day, I found I didn’t need as much daytime backup as I thought. So eventually we shifted all of her hours over to the night nurse, and that ended up being far more valuable to us.
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The night nurse comes four nights a week, and I can’t overstate how huge this is. Here’s what she does for us:
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Cares for baby overnight
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Feeds him (we’re combo feeding, formula overnight, breast milk during the day)
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Washes and folds baby’s clothes
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Cleans bottles and pump parts
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Because she handles overnight care, I actually sleep. After a C-section, sleep and rest are nonnegotiable for recovery. If you’re exclusively breastfeeding, yes, you’ll still have to pump or feed, but she can lessen your load, bring baby to you, etc.
We’ll have her for about three months. Without her? I honestly don’t know how we’d be functioning.
Also, a perk I didn’t expect: once we felt comfortable with her, we started using one night per week to sneak out for dinner, walks, or just a change of scenery. We live near walkable spots, so while she’s on duty, we’ve been able to slip out for an hour or so.At first both my husband and I were both very nervous about doing this but having cameras helped us (more on that below) to feel secure. It’s been nice to reconnect a bit, even in this newborn haze.
Things to Keep in Mind
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If you’ll be alone at home with baby during the day (no working spouse or backup), a postpartum doula might still be essential for you.
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If your birth ends up being vaginal (as planned), a birth doula might come in handy more than it did for me.
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If you’re exclusively breastfeeding, nighttime help will look different, you’ll still need your body to produce and deliver milk but a night nurse can lighten the burden in other ways.
What Camera We Use (and Why It Helped Me Breathe Easier)
We use the Nanit Pro Baby Monitor to keep an eye on baby overnight.
A few reasons I loved it:
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High-quality video with night vision, so I can see clearly even in darkness.
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It tracks breathing motion (no wires or sensors on baby) and gives sleep insights.
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You can watch from your phone from anywhere.
I know how huge it feels to try to make the “right” decisions before baby even arrives. The options are overwhelming, the advice is endless, and everyone has their opinion.
What I want you to take away from all this is: rest matters. Your body (especially if you have or may have a surgery) needs time to recover. Your mind needs space to heal. And your partnership (if you have a spouse or co-parent) needs moments of connection.
If I had to choose just one support again, I’d pick the night nurse every time, not because day help isn’t nice, or birth doula support isn’t valuable, but because sleep changes everything in those early days.
You deserve support. You deserve grace. You deserve rest, even when it feels impossible.
